Heero Yuy, Signing Off
by keiichisei
Summary: I never expected to have to piece together a life after the war, to slowly come down from this high and find that I want things. Things like love, a partner, a future... 1x2
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing.

Hello, my name is Heero Yuy. I have been asked by the head of Winner Enterprises to write an account of my experiences involving the war to be used as educational literature for the new school system he has built on L4. I begin from the start.

I was born to two inhabitants of L1. My memories of them are unclear, but I know I had a mother and father and we were quite happy together. My conscious memory begins when I was four. I woke up after being knocked out from an explosion and saw that my parents were not there. I ran through the streets looking for them. I spent the night on the streets and stumbled upon an agent named Odin Lowe the next day. Although nothing has been confirmed until recently, I knew that my father had been killed in the attack from the Alliance and that my mother had survived. She had just gone to get medical assistance for me when I ran off.

When Mr. Lowe took me to the lab and asked my name, I did not tell him for fear that they would use it to harm my mother. When I underwent my first chemical treatment with Dr. J, I lost the knowledge of my name completely, but I never lost the feeling of my mother's presence. Even during the fighting, I knew that I would feel it if she died, and as long as she stayed alive, I stayed alive.

I shadowed Odin Lowe to learn the techniques of an assassin until his death when I was eight years old. After witnessing Odin's confession and death, I finally understood the motives behind the war. I accepted my role as the one who will end the conflict and took the name of the pacifist Heero Yuy. The real Heero Yuy gave his life to maintaining peace in the Earth and Colonies, and I would too.

I continued working as an assassin for Dr. J until about a year before the date of Operation Meteor, when I began training to pilot the Wing Gundam. I accelerated in strength and tactical skills, being tutored in electronics, hacking, mechanics, and human psychology. The chemical treatments cleared my mind of anything but my mission, eliminating the ability to feel fear, loss, or compassion. I was calm, focused, and ready for my destiny.

At the end of the first war, I returned to Dr. J and gave him my gun to kill me. For peace to truly exist, all weapons must be destroyed, including me. When he did not move to take my gun, I turned it on him, intending to kill both him and myself. He just stared at me and rattled off an address on L1. I do not know how he knew where she was, but I had to go.

I knocked on the door of a small white house in a nice neighborhood. A man answered, two teenagers were playing virtual reality games in the living room. The man eyed me curiously, I finally choked out, "Excuse me, does a woman live here that… used to have a son?" A woman appeared behind him, and I knew it was her. She was my height, with tan skin and my dark brown hair. Her dark eyes froze upon seeing me. She stepped onto the porch, "Shoibi!" and leapt into my arms, suddenly balling.

I spent Christmas with the family. Mr. Kahashi is my mother's new husband, with Kohiri and Misato his children from a previous marriage. I told them that I had been part of the rebel forces from the colonies. When my mother took me to my guest room, she sat on the bed and looked at me with sad eyes,

"Shoibi, I always knew you were alive, but I didn't know if you knew to come back to me, you were only four years old."

I sat on the bed, "I remember waking up from the explosion and running away. I was taken in by a scientist that trained me for the war. I didn't even know what my name was, but the scientist told me where to find you."

"Your name?" Her eyes began to brim with tears, "You're name, my son, is Shoibi Mihoru. What were you called before now?"

"I took the name of Heero Yuy."

She looked up at me, "Oh god, that was you?" I knew some of the colonies had seen various transmissions of the battles, and I was pretty sure they announced who blew up Libra and effectively saved the Earth. My mother was crying now, "My son, your father would have been so proud of you, so proud."

I moved over and embraced her as she cried.

I left after Christmas with the promise of writing often and returning every few months. I spent the remaining months between the war laying low and doing work in conjunction with the Preventors. Wing Zero stayed well hidden and I only used it when monitoring suspicious activity in space noticed by the Preventors. Although somewhat reluctantly, I sent my Gundam to Quatre when he requested it, and then the Mariemaia incident began.

I met up with the pilots again in the second war, grateful to partner with Duo, Quatre, and Trowa again, and just a little peeved that Wufei was so fucked he chose the wrong side. Poor guy, he was not really cut out for this stuff, though he is a capable fighter. We finally gained the upper hand in the fight, and I shot the idiot in charge of it all. Apparently I then collapsed near Relena and she took me to the Sanq Kingdom.

I awoke after 402 days. After looking back I remember various medical equipment trying to assist me at Relena's estate, warm hands brushing my hair out of my face or rubbing my hand, and soft-spoken voices. There were no thoughts formed at this time – my body was repairing itself from two wars, the machine was in control. I jerked into consciousness by flying into a sitting position and going through a rough coughing fit, effectively scaring the shit out of the nurse who had been cleaning my room.

Relena was notified after her meeting let out, and she spent the afternoon telling me everything I might want to know. The war had ended, the E.S.U.N. was reforming slowly but surely. Wufei was with Preventors and she saw Quatre and Trowa occasionally when attending political conventions W.E.I. was a part of. A very few number of people knew that Quatre was an ex-Gundam pilot, but they were keeping this a secret, as the public opinion of them had changed to a threat of the peace.

I tried to croak out something that sounded like "Duo." I eventually held up two fingers and Relena knew.

"Actually, Duo's been quite busy, though you wouldn't know it." She reached back to her desk and put a vid-chip in my hands. On the cover was a young man with wild blue hair only a couple of inches longer than mine that was going every which way. He appeared to be sitting in a hallway with his back against a door, holes ripped in his tight jeans and a silk white shirt that was open, allowing a good view of his built chest and stomach. On the back cover was a picture of the same man, though this time he was standing with his arms handcuffed to a bar just above his head. He was squared to the camera in a full suit of very tight shiny black leather. Despite the hair, the face and eyes were Duo's, a diluted form of his smirk on the back, and a somewhat painful, distracted look on the front cover.

After letting it sink in, Relena supplied, "That is the pre-released version of his second album that comes out in a couple of weeks, I've loaded his videos and first album on there too. He's sent me copies of everything, and the news that he's been chosen as a supporting actor in an American movie starting in March. He was at the top of the charts for a long time, and the current statistics say he's worth about 70 million."

I looked back down at the vid-chip, the name on the front was coherent but peculiar, Keiichi Sei. Seeing me point to it, Relena got a sad look on her face, "He's adopted an alias, no Gundam pilot is welcome in society except Quatre, who is now fully supporting the Winner family's views of pacifism."

She faltered, her eyes leaving me and going to the floor, glazing over. She spoke in a whisper, "I wasn't expecting you to ever wake up. When the war ended, you were in such bad condition that my doctors said you wouldn't last more than a couple of days." She brought her hand up to wipe away a couple of tears. "Then when your coma stabilized, they said it was just a matter of time when either your body gave up or I had to decide to let you go. All of the pilots believe you died shortly after I brought you here, and I haven't tried to tell them differently. It would ruin their lives to see you like that, they had to move on. As for the rest of the world and space, you were the last casualty of the war, the one who ended the war, with the same name as the pacifist whose assassination sparked all of this. At E.S.U.N. headquarters there is a monument set up for you both."

I spent the rest of the day thinking of what I would do next. I asked Relena to call Quatre and Trowa and tell them I was alive. I sent a note to my mother and applied for a position with the Preventors under the name Shiobi Mihoru. If Heero Yuy was dead, then maybe I could become the person I was before Dr. J. I met a delighted Quatre and Trowa at a conference with Relena a couple of days later. They told me, or rather Quatre told me, about W.E.I.'s work and also their anonymous advertising for a certain Keiichi Sei.

We had some time alone after the conference. They told me Trowa was now Quatre's head of security from the Preventors, although both of them were apparently working on some undercover developments in the organization. I noticed both of them had matching gold bands on their left ring fingers and gave Trowa a smile. So he finally managed to get with his angel after all.

I was hired by the Preventors and appointed (due to a supposedly secret phone call from Relena to Une telling her who I really was) head of a new Special Ops Intelligence department that was forming. I would start in ninety days, so I went to find Duo.

A/N: Thank you for reading! Anything you can offer on how to better my writing will be much appreciated. As you can tell, I'm not an advanced writer.  
I was forced by a friend to give my name as Duo's alias in exchange for them proofreading this. I'm not the pop-star/Duo Maxwell type, so it's been quite humorous for them.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

This chapter is dedicated to gymnastics-lover and Angelic-Yuy for reviewing the first chapter and offering such heart-felt encouragement. Thanks guys.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or Jimmy Eat World.

After the shuttle for L2 took off from Sanq, I pulled out my copy of Duo's vid-chip from Relena. I popped it in my laptop and the screen went black. For about a minute, soft percussive rhythms stewed until the view changed to the profile of Duo, or rather Keiichi, looking ahead.

"I don't care what you do

I'm getting out

No nothing ever shames me

Don't wanna thing from you

I'm going out

I don't care if you're angry."

The image exploded in fire, showing a black clad Duo on a strobe lit stage. He swerved and stretched to the music, the camera constantly flipping to a close up on his eyes. The singer was filled with Duo's anger and death. I was transfixed to the screen as the demon writhed on the floor of the stage. His inner darkness surrounded me and I was sucked in, I was lost, there was no more tomorrow. After the first song, I knew why Keiichi was such a hit, he was addictive as a drug.

The rest of the flight I watched Duo dance in his songs, and when I finished I went back and replayed my favorites. I started feeling ill towards the end of the flight. I was dizzy, my stomach was uneasy, and my skin was oscillating between very cold and very hot. I was sick with similar symptoms for months afterward due to my body revolting against the now lower levels of chemical additives and the awakening of my long-suppressed sexuality.

After I came out of the coma, I was gripped by a surge of fear. Something inside was telling me that my body was starting to fall apart and I was going to lose control. I knew that if I went back to Dr. J, I could get an injection that would fix it, but there was no way that was happening. I began to have worries and insecurities, something chemically impossible during the war, but deep down I was afraid of not having anything without a mission. Needless to say, Duo had always rid me of any issues in the past, so I knew to go to him first.

The shuttle landed on L2 and I took the short walk to the Maxwell Church Tragedy memorial and rebuilt Maxwell Church. Duo had really done a job, there was a window showing two teenagers managing a nursery. Across the cemetery and playground was a large building with a sign in the front that read, "Maxwell Church Academy for the Forsaken." I saw a couple of ladders leading to the roof around the side so I decided to ask there.

A boy about a year or two younger than me stuck his head over the side and I asked if Duo Maxwell was there. Another boy appeared and asked who Duo Maxwell was. The first boy turned back and hollered "Headmaster! There's someone here to see you." I heard the characteristic sarcastic voice come lilting over the rooftop.

"Well I don't see why anyone would need to come here, or –" With a swoop and flash of braid, a body flew over the side of the roof and slid down the ladder, landing within an inch of my face "-see me."

Our eyes locked, and for a second Duo's kept their skepticism, but then they quickly grew to the size of the school windows. "Heero!" In an instant he launched himself into my arms, holding me in a tight hug. I wrapped my arms around him and felt him tremor violently. We stood there for two minutes, me a little worried about his shaking. Several boys climbed down the ladders carrying various toolboxes and stacks of shingles. I heard one of the boys ask who I was, and someone else reply that I was probably a war buddy. After another minute, Duo pulled me back at arms length and stared into my face, he hadn't grown at all since the war, still just about an inch taller than me.

"It's great to see you." The look on his face clearly stated that he thought he had gone mad.

"Relena was caring for me. I went into a coma, I just came out four days ago. They had never expected me to survive after this long, I'm so sorry."

Duo's face softened, "Heero, would you like to stay for a while?"

"If I am not a burden."

After dinner in the school, the students retired to the study hall and Duo led me to the roof. We sat on the peak and watched the sunset.

"Well, since you've only been awake for four days, I can't really ask what you've been doing since the wars. Do the others know you're alive?"

"I met with Trowa and Quatre before coming here, I assume Chang will figure things out once I start with Preventors."

"You don't think he'd forget to notice that the great Heero Yuy has risen from the dead and is starting at his work?"

"Heero Yuy is still dead, I've applied as Shoibi Mihoru and I'm starting as the head of the new Special Operations Intelligence department."

"…Shoibi Mihoru, huh."

"That's the name I was given at birth. After the first war, I searched and found my mother."

Duo's head snapped in my direction. "Heero, I mean… Shoibi, that's great!"

I looked over at him, sprawled across the broken shingles, orange and red sunrays splashing across his torso and legs.

"Duo, is something wrong?"

"What? Oh, not really, it seems like everyone's found their place since the wars. 'Fei and Quat lost loved ones but still ended up with a family. Trowa Barton is now Triton Bloom, and Heero Yuy is Shoibi Mihoru, civilian from L1. I guess I've found a family too, I am always welcome with the Forsaken."

"You are now Keiichi Sei."

"So you know about me, eh?"

"Why are you doing it?"

Duo turned back to the sunset. "Getting the money I need to take care of the orphans on L2. In the period between the two wars, Quatre contacted me and told me about W.E.I.'s status with L2 and how long it was going to take to buy it back. That's why I didn't return to the junk yard with Hilde after the Mariemaia coup, because I knew what I needed to do.

"L2 was owned by an American company that sold out due to pressure from the Alliance about seventy years ago. Now that both organizations are gone, L2 is stuck in the paperwork, but Winner Enterprises is trying to sort it out in court. Once he can buy the colony back, Quat will revamp the maintenance systems and start getting some law enforcement in here. Until then, the colony's war orphans and child gang members will go through high school here and get into college on Earth, and I'm going to make sure it happens."

I lay back next to him, looking at the stars, "I had figured we would be partners with Preventors once the Gundams were destroyed."

"I'm with Preventors, reporting on L2 and celebrity motives. I imagine I'll end up there full time once Quat gets a hold of L2 and my fame runs out."

He paused, I believe finally processing what I had said, "Why do you want us to be partners?"

"Together, you and I were the best after all, plus we relate better as ex-gundam pilots. There's no way I could work with someone who didn't fight in the wars or was with the wrong organization."

"Are you ready to go in?"

We climbed off the roof and circled the school grounds once before heading inside to the dormitory rooms. Duo had been quiet most of the walk, finally breaking the silence,

"So, are you and Relena in love?"

The question shocked me so much I didn't realize I had frozen on the spot.

"In love?" Duo stopped with me.

"Yeah, you know she was crazy about you since the beginning of the war."

I started walking again, "I'm not in love with her, I don't think I will be either. I've stopped chemical treatments with J, and the effects are starting to show since I came out of the coma. I've been hallucinating and sleep-walking, I imagine I'll go through some periods of insanity before I can begin to accept feelings like love and sadness."

Duo looked at me with one of those caring looks Quatre always uses for everyone. "You can stay here until you leave for Preventors, I have a couple of months off before I'm due on set in America. It might help to be with someone that also has the nightmares."

"Thank you, I would like that. So, have you found anyone, in that respect?"

"Love?" Duo smiled and looked down at the wood floor panels, shaking his head. "I had a love affair with Trowa."

"Trowa!" I again found myself stopped in the middle of the hallway. This time, Duo kept going.

"Is it that hard to believe? When the war ended and you were claimed dead, Quatre assumed head of Winner Enterprises and began peace talks with the returning members of E.S.U.N. Trowa returned to the circus and tested positive as Catherine's brother and attended her wedding, but left shortly thereafter. I saw him at a shuttle port on L3 and invited him to say at my apartment on Earth, since I was still trying to get started in my career."

"So… you two fell in love?" Something about all this just seemed so strange. For some reason, I had never pictured Duo being with anyone.

"Very deeply. We lived together for eight months, but when I got picked up by a recording company things started going downhill. Trowa took more assignments at Preventors, but it was driving us both crazy to not get to spend anytime together. One day I came home after being gone for six weeks, Trowa was sitting watching Quat on the news. He came up to me and kissed me and said, 'I have my angel back.' And that's when I said 'I am not an angel, I am a demon. But there is an angel for you, and he's waiting for you to come back to him.' I had so strongly been wanting to love someone, and Trowa had been there when I thought I had lost you, my best friend. I still love Trowa, but I know Quat did too."

"You mean Triton?"

"No. I fell in love with Trowa Barton, he will always be Trowa to me."

"What name will you call me?"

"I don't know, it depends on a lot of things, and who you are when you get the ability to feel back."

"Duo, don't worry about finding someone, I can't think of anyone that wouldn't enjoy being with you."

We stopped at the end of the cramped hallway. Duo pulled out a key, "Home sweet home. Do you mind sharing my room? There's so many of us here we have four students in one bed."

"We did it a few times in the war."

Duo's room was half the size of one of the dorm rooms. There was a dresser that you had to step around to get to the bed that stretched from wall to wall. Out of curiosity, I opened my arms and touched both ends of the room to confirm my suspicions. It was perfectly fine for two people used to a mobile suit cockpit or jail cell, but if I started sleep walking again there might be a problem.

I awoke when Duo scooted off the bed. He rummaged through the dresser for a minute.

"Believe me Natalie, listen Natalie, this is"

When he returned from the shower room, he sat down on the edge of the bed and began brushing his long hair.

"I'm coming out of my cage

And I've been doing just fine

Gotta gotta be down  
Because I want it all

It started out with a kiss

How did it end up like this?

It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss."

I lay there listening to him sing, completely content to watch him. I couldn't help but notice the sad tone to his good voice, and how boney his back was without his shirt on. In fact his entire body looked skinnier than during the war, practically skeletal.

"And I just can't look it's killing me  
And taking control  
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea  
Swimming through sick lullabies  
Choking on your alibis  
But it's just the price I pay  
Destiny is calling me  
Open up my eager eyes  
'Cause I'm Mr. Brightside."

After finally noticing I was awake, we got ready for the day and walked to the meal room.

"Hello, Headmaster!" The group of students waiting for us chorused, many of the girls with a dreamy look in their eyes.

"Have you divided up the lists?" They nodded. "Alright, let's go pick up the monkeys."

We walked to the church. When we got there, Duo and the other students walked into a room full of squealing infants and toddlers, most of which swarmed around Duo. The students each picked up a child, the boys bending down to have a toddler climb on their backs. A little girl came up to me and reached up with her little hands. I was a bit confused about what she wanted at first, but when she jumped up and latched onto my leg, I got the idea. When I picked her up she screamed with delight and started playing with my hair. I let another boy climb onto my back.

The grocery store was four blocks away. All the chattering children would have made me agitated, but I saw how much Duo was enjoying everything so I followed his example. The group split up when we got in the store. I dumped the boy into a shopping cart, but the little girl refused to let me go. I liked holding her, her light brown hair and huge brown eyes reminded me of the girl I met on L1. Duo was carrying a set of twins, one in each arm. He's alternate letting each one take something off the shelf and drop it into the cart. Seeing Duo with those children just looked so right, talking back to the kids' babbles as if he knew what they meant, his hips swaying as he walked to compensate for their weight.

The young boy sitting in the cart asked me if I had fought in the wars. I said I was a mobile suit pilot. His face lit up, "What's it like to fly in space? What's it like on Earth? Tell me about the fights!" At this display I was shocked into silence, trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

Duo turned around to the boy, "Andrew, Mr. Mihoru doesn't want to talk about the war because fights are a very bad things. In the war, many people were killed for no reason, and Mr. Mihoru had to kill people to stay alive."

Andrew's face lost its luster. Once Duo had gone down a different aisle, he looked up at me, "Did you kill my parents?" I stopped the cart and just stared at him. What hit the hardest was that I couldn't say that I _didn't_ kill them. Even thought the colonists supported Heero Yuy's pacifism, many on L2 had been forced to work for the Alliance so they could have a job and security for their families.

I leaned toward Andrew, "This one time, I had to sneak into an Alliance base and steal a disk from their computer system…" I heard Duo laugh.

I paid for half of the groceries with some of the money E.S.U.N. had designated as compensation to the Gundam pilots (Relena had applied it to building the memorial, but paid me back when I awoke). And we were off like a herd of turtles, those that could walk reliably now assigned to carrying a bag of groceries alongside us. Duo fell back to walk with me,

"I've tried to support Father Maxwell's teachings on spirituality and pacifism for this school, but it's still hard to since I clearly don't believe them myself. Some of the nuns here knew Sister Helen and Father Maxwell, but its just like when I was young – once a street kid, always a street kid. It's only because the former gang leaders have sworn off to go to school that the students get along so well. This senior class is all applying for the Preventors, we don't have any money for them to go to college, but Preventors can make good use of stealth experts."

"This senior class is a year older than us, right?"

"Yeah, just think Heero, instead of ending the war, we could have been going to a school."

Have you ever gone into a grocery store and left a changed person? I have. I left wanting this day to be repeated everyday for the rest of my life. I wanted to have children, I wanted to have _these_ children. I wanted a partner, I wanted Duo to partner with me at Preventors. Unlike in the war, where I knew I played a vital role, I felt so insignificant compared with the School of the Forsaken. If I could do anything to help these kids get through this so they could better the world and not have to go through what the Gundam pilots and I went through, I wanted to do it.

The rest of the day was spent working on the roof. That night Duo told me he would be gone for two days for a magazine photo-shoot on L4.

I awoke during the night to a hissing sound. Duo was lying on his back next to me, his spine arching from the bed and his hands clutching the sheets underneath. He gasped again, all of his muscles tightening, mouth opening in the pain and a couple of tears coming from shut eyes. This was a nightmare of the war, any number of them. Duo had really done a hundred times more work than the rest of us in the war – when the other pilots were planning, resting, or observing, Duo was infiltrating and stealing without being ordered to, making preemptive strikes, or just appearing at a base and killing as many as he could. His Deathscythe never took much damage, but that doesn't mean the pilot didn't. He knew his god wouldn't take him when he still had a job to do. That's why I let him get capture in the Mariemaia incident – I knew he would escape, and he'd be alive.

I concluded that if I tried touching him I would be met with a quick death. Maybe if I talked to him, intercepted his dream.

"02, Status."

A smirk came to his face, he muttered something that sounded like "bastards." Then his whole body tensed his face a look of complete horror, "Heero…No No!" he screamed.

"I'm here, Duo. I'm here."

"No…" his body went slack, more tears streaming down his face. I ventured to touch his arm – he was cold as ice. Reaching over, I pulled him in to me, his head in the crook of my neck.

"Tro…"

"No, Heero. It's me, Heero."

A/N: Thank you for reading! Thank you to my wonderful reviewers, and please feel free to leave your comments! -Keiichi Sei


	3. Chapter 3

A note to my reviewers: I am responding to your reviews but posting my own comment in the review section. Again, thank you so much for your help!

Warning: The rating for this fic has changed to M for language and other things concerning Duo's past.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, Jimmy Eat World, or Johnny Nash.

This chapter is dedicated to Gymnastics-lover, Yaeko, and EquineAngel for reviewing chapter two, you guys are awesome.

Chapter Three

I slept through the night with my best friend in my arms. When I opened my eyes, Duo was still pressed close, curious eyes looking up at my face. War holding Death in his arms, forever friends. I was glad that for once I could help him, after all the times he'd gotten me out of a tight spot, and in general kicked so much ass that I knew he would end the war if I didn't – he'd kill everyone standing.

I think he was trying to figure out why I hadn't let go yet. I must have smiled at him, because his eyes got big and he suddenly looked very surprised. His eyes drifted to the alarm clock on the dresser.

"SHIIIIIIIIIT!"

I went down to breakfast after Duo ran off to the shuttle port. I sat down with a couple of the guys that had worked on the roof yesterday. A kid about a year older than me offered his hand, "The name's Corey. Rival gang leader with Duo, but we were both picked up by Maxwell Church after the plague. I was adopted out, but my parents were killed in the Alliance, probably by Duo. I don't give a shit though."

"Hn."

"So were you and Duo partners in the war? Guerrillas protecting the Sanq Kingdom?"

I paused, "…Something like that."

"After class me and the guys will be finishing the south panel on the roof, we could use your help."He smiles at me, not surprised when I give no answer.

I helped the students assigned for cleaning duty that morning. I ran back to our room to grab a sweater and went jogging outside. Most of the year, L2 is incredibly cold. For about two months in what is normally the spring, the colony moves out of line with the Moon and gets direct radiation from the Sun. I had a mission here during that time when I was little once, the temperature got up to at least 140 degrees Fahrenheit each day. Quatre will fix that once he gets a hold of the colony.

I jogged down to the shuttle port and across what used to be a shopping district and a couple of apartment complexes. Coming back by the church I took a seat in one of the park benches in the graveyard. At the front closest to the church I saw a black, granite cross. I walked up to it and read the engraving,

Heero Yuy  
Forever.  
AC 180-196

There was a stone slab on the ground in front of the cross, it looked like it had been worn down. There was a granite bowl next to the cross with black smudges in it. I pick it up, it smelled of incense. Someone had burnt incense at a grave marker for me, in my memory.

The senior boys got out of class and we finished the entire roof. They had only planned on the south panel but I always want tot finish something I start. After enduring several hours of cracks about how fast and mechanical I am, Corey stopped me in the meal room and asked me to take a walk with him.

We talked about his interest in the Preventors for a couple of minutes until he got to the point,

"Shoibi… do you love Duo?"

I gasped and looked at him, wondering what the hell he was getting at. Corey took a deep breath.

"Duo and I were in gangs that hated each other, but I loved Duo. My gang wasn't hit as badly with the plague, it had mainly been in Solo's district. I was picked up by the Maxwell Church, and I was with Sister Helen the day she brought Duo back to the church. He was crouched over an older boy in an alleyway. The boy was dead, Duo was clinging to him and crying. At the orphanage, Duo told me he was the only one to survive in his gang because he had made a deal with death. But the deal had been to spare Solo, the boy, and since he died, Duo was going to get back at those that let the plague happen, that ignored L2.

"I was adopted, and Duo was the only survivor of the Maxwell Church Tragedy. When my adopted parents were killed, I searched out my old gang, only to find that Duo had been taking care of them all this time. Duo worked for a scientist that was against the Alliance, stealing from him and doing other things to take care of members of my gang, an enemy gang, since he was the only one left of his."

Corey stopped and looked at me, "He whored himself for us back then, and he's still doing it now. He says there's no point for him not to, he's lost Solo, and he's lost his partner from the war."

"Why are you telling me this?" I was a little unnerved about listening to private things about Duo. If Duo had wanted me to know these things, he would have told me.

"I'm not telling you, I am stating my threat." He turned to me, his face angry. We had made it to the graveyard, Corey had his back against the gate. He took a deep breath,

"Duo is pure because he was willing to fight for us. I saw his heart break when he lost Solo, and when he came back from the war he was broken again. Every time he's on L2 he spends the nights praying at that cross." He pointed to the black cross at the front of the cemetery. "Duo fell in love with Heero Yuy, the one who saved the world, and he lost the one he loved again. If you do anything to make Duo hurt, I swear to God I'll – "

"Don't ever accuse me of doing anything to Duo." I was in his face in an instant, "And don't swear to his god, that is something precious to him."

"Who the hell are you!" His face paled as realization hit him, "Are you Heer-"

"Heero Yuy is dead! The war is dead!" I snapped, trying my hardest not to sock him, "If you love him so much, where were you when he was captured and tortured relentlessly for three days until I could get to him! Where were you when he was placed in a cell that was slowly drained of oxygen, when his mobile suit was blown up, when he was outnumbered, when he was injured, when I self-detonated, and he was screaming!" At that point I was so furious I had to walk away from him to ensure that I didn't pummel his ass.

I did not sleep well that night. The chill of Duo's room put my mind in a cold Oz holding cell. It wasn't the torture that bothered me – they had gotten the idea that I wasn't going to talk – it was the sounds of what they were doing to Wufei in the next cell that bothered me. I heard voltage, kicking, grunts, a reverberating crowbar, everything they had used on me. I ran to the adjoining wall and screamed, "Wufei! Wufei, Wufei!" They silenced me after a couple of minutes, but I knew Wufei had heard me. They kept the voltage going higher and I heard him start to scream, louder and louder…

I awoke with a shout, the sheets completely soaked on the bed. School had already started. Part of me wanted to get on the next shuttle to L4 and spend the rest of the day with Duo. I could transfer within Preventors and be his personal bodyguard and we could always be together. But I knew that was not the truth, life did not treat Gundam pilots with such happiness. No matter how peaceful it seemed and how much we wanted to have a normal existence, the Gundam pilots were trained for war, and there was always a war. Protecting the peace was now the bane of our existence, our main fuck, and it would always be so. We never had souls to begin with, why the hell would we get them after all that we've done, for so many that didn't want it.

To keep my mind off of Duo, I went to the head nun of the school and asked for the current maintenance list. I completed it by three that afternoon: set up a guttering system, built two more septic tanks, scraped the lead paint off of the main hall and painted it, and planted grass over the entire front courtyard. After showering I went to our room before dinner. I searched through my bag for Duo's vid chip and grabbed his vid phone to watch it. When I turned it on, it started playing whatever chip that had already been inserted. Duo was sitting with his arms around his folded legs on the floor of his room, dressed in his normal black priest outfit. He looked as skinny as ever, his cheekbones sunken in and black circles under his eyes. He looked at the camera and started singing,

"You were standing there  
All alone.  
You were fighting your way to me, but  
They took your life.  
You were trying to come free me, but  
They took your sweet life."

He paused and looked down at the floor. His eyes were so angry but also so sad, something I had never really seen in him. He looked back at the camera, pure hatred in his eyes,

"When it came to truth,  
You stood brave.  
Most duck beneath the shadows  
When it's time to fight.  
Most don't even seem to realize  
What it means to lose your life.

And when your day came,  
Children cried.  
Now I'm standing here,  
All alone.  
Building homes, schools, and futures  
For the poorer sect.  
Those who need protection most  
Are always the ones who protect."

He paused again, taking in a deep shuddering breath. His voice was louder, and when he modulated keys his volume grew until he was singing at the top of his lungs.

"And when the resistance came,  
Children cried.  
And when your death came,  
You held tight.  
You were standing there, you were there  
All alone."

The Duo on the screen looked at the camera for a second before punching the vid phone. The chip cut to what looked like a filming session for one of his videos. Keiichi Sei, blue hair and all, was walking backwards as the cameraman followed him. Keiichi tried smiling and practicing his choreography, a couple of twirls and pivots while moving through a set that looked like a happy market place. Although he was dressed in such vibrant colors and surrounded by such a bright set, he looked like he was tired and had been through a bad day. In fact he looked like he was on the verge of tears.

Someone in the back counted down and music began playing. Duo smiled at the camera and started walking down the market street,

"I can see clearly now, the rain is gone.  
I can see all obstacles in my way.  
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind.  
It's gonna be a bright, bright sun-shiny day."

I noticed something was wrong when Duo tried to smile even bigger, it was the smile he used when he was forcing it. Even though his voice was gorgeous and happy, the extras all walking around him to the beat, there were a couple of tears coming down Keiichi's face, and as he continued singing and smiling, they kept coming.

"I think I can make it now,  
The pain is gone.  
All of the bad feelings have disappeared.  
Here is that rainbow I've been praying for.  
It's gonna be a bright, bright sun-shiny day."

When the singer pointed to the sky at the rainbow, his voice cracked. He acted as if nothing had happened, still smiling even as the eye makeup was making dark lines down his face.

"Look all around, nothing but-"

"STOP! STOP!"

Duo halted and looked away from the camera, his head bent down and his hand covering his eyes, the other running through his blue hair.

I switched off the vid phone and just sat there, thinking. All of my life, there had been answers to every opponent I faced. To end the war, I must defeat the Alliance. To obtain a lasting peace, I must keep Relena alive. To become the person I was before the second Heero Yuy, I must allow my system to flush out the artificial hormones. To construct a purpose and meaning for the rest of my life after the war, I had to find Duo.

It had never occurred to me that perhaps Duo had not found his answer after the war, like the other pilots had. He had killed so many people for peace in the colonies, and after it all he was still leading a depressed, starved existence. I made a promise that I would help Duo find his answer, find whatever it is that he was looking for. I wouldn't leave for Preventors until he found it, I could be happy as long as I knew Duo was.

I brought a plate of dinner back to the room for him and set it on his side of the bed. I lit a few candles and went to sleep. He came home at about four in the morning. He took the plate back to the cafeteria, I don't think he ate any of the food, and then climbed into bed. When he got under the covers I pulled him close to me and embraced him, pretending to be asleep. I think he knew better though, it's hard to lie to someone who knows you better than you know yourself.

Something was tapping my feet. I looked at the end of the bed and found a very peeved Duo looking at me,

"You completed a month's worth of maintenance! What are the kids going to do now!"

I look up at him, "They need to be studying for their midterms, don't they?"

His shoulders sagged, "Yeah, I guess so, the nuns were trying to keep them from detonating their science projects in the main hall."

"So, love, since I finished everything yesterday, what do we do today?" The quizzical look Duo gave me was priceless.

"I dunno," he said. "Can you think of anything?"

"Wanna go to the circus?"

Duo's face changed to a very sad expression, it must be too soon to joke. The sad face was gone as fast as it had arrived, however, and Duo grabbed his winter scarf and coat and dashed down the hall. I caught up with him at the main entrance talking to the head nun. I dusted my hands off from the dry bomb I dodged (and placed in our neighbors' bed) that had been planted for me the Duo had conveniently stepped over.

We spent the morning traipsing through L2's run down shopping district and picked a couple of things up for the kids. Duo bought some tiny little socks and other items for the babies. He asked about the new department and what I saw my future being like. I think he knew that I would have trouble adjusting to a somewhat normal life: going to work, going home, eating dinner, going to sleep. Deep down I wasn't sure if even my position in the Preventors was enough to keep me grounded. Truly, what was I doing, if not ending the war and saving the earth and colonies? I had never thought I would do anything else, be anyone else.

"I'm sure watching all of your videos will keep me occupied," I said.

Duo looked sidelong at me, sending me a glare that said he didn't appreciate me reciprocating with his denial as well. He stopped behind the winter coat rack, leaning on the shelf behind him, his arms full of second-hand jackets.

"I was faced with owning the junk yard with Hilde, or maybe being a mechanic somewhere. I could have tried starting my own line of transports using what I know about mobile suits, but why would I risk that when I knew my physique could sell? I did what I did because I knew it would work, and how else would I have gotten the millions I have?"

When I offered no answer, he chuckled, looking down at the worn jackets. "It's so much, but there's still so many kids that would love to be in that school, and the kids there now can't go to college."

We dropped our shopping off at the school and proceeded to run around through the courtyard to the street, me following after Duo in whatever game he thought he was playing.

_The time I would spend,  
With pictures I would not send.  
I watched you go from left to right,  
I followed you all night.  
Across my blinds._

He slowed as I caught up with him, though he kept three steps ahead on the sidewalk, skipping and turning around to flash his smile as we carried on down the streets of L2. I wondered what sort of peace I could have for the rest of my life, would I really find something exciting enough to pull me out of bed? In my single bed, in my single apartment, to go to my single office, and come home to an empty room.

_I'm making my peace,  
Making it with distance.  
Maybe that's a big mistake,  
You know I'm thinking of you.  
I miss you._

I looked up ahead at the nymph prancing around, paying no attention to the odd looks others were giving him. Leaping and spinning, like a demon set free, flame personified. I had never followed anyone, but since my awakening I had not felt like the same person. I knew I could follow Duo, I wanted to, and I would follow him, for the rest of my life.

_You'll change your mind come Monday,  
And turn your back on me.  
You'll take your steps away with hesitance,  
You'll take your step away from me._

He flung himself across the grass of the park. I lay down, stretching my legs out and folding my arms behind my head. Duo mimicked me, blowing the hair out of his eyes to look up at the sky.

"It's alright, it's alright, it's alright.  
She moves in mysterious ways."

I closed my eyes, listening to him sing.

"Heero."

"Yeah?"

"Sing me something."

I froze in confusion, I couldn't remember if I had ever sung anything. My first exposure to singing I'm pretty sure was an old Japanese fairy tale from my mother. I must have liked listening to her. When Duo and I had stopped by Peacemillion to repair our Gundams in the first leg of the war, I had opened Deathscythe's communication line to tell him something and heard him singing. For some reason I completely forgot what I was going to tell him and just went back to work with the line open. I tried to jam his frequency when I stole parts from his Gundam so I could listen to him more, but he fixed it soon after we parted.

Duo rolled over to his side, propping his head up with his arm while he looked at me expectantly. I tried to think of something I could sing to him, maybe something from my mother? All I knew were the songs he sang in his albums,

"Remember when you said my name  
Like it meant somewhere safe?"

Duo looked at the grass in between us, pulling out a dandelion and playing with it.

"Heero, I want you to know you are always welcome with the Forsaken. I'm never there, you were lucky to catch me in a break after my second album, but the head nun says the kids seem to like you, and I'm sure they'd all love to have you anytime." His voice was low and tired.

I turned to him, "You're running away from your fears. You're as scared as me, but you have a busy life to distract you from it."

My friend's eyebrow cocked, but he kept his eyes on the grass. A remark like that would have earned me a standoff in the wars, but Duo had changed just as much if not more than I had. I'd never seen him carry such calm and acceptance with him. I think he already knew the conclusion that I was slowly coming to, that our lives weren't worth anything, now that we had fulfilled our destinies. We were some sort of fluke, more like freak accident – were people supposed to outlive their destinies? Duo knew, Quatre and Trowa knew, Wufei knew, all you can do is try for as much good as you can and ignore the loneliness as long as possible before Death comes to sweep you away.

A shadow seemed to pass over Duo's face, his tone now nearly a growl. "Can you blame me for running? How's your life since the coma, Shoibi? Isn't it a bit scary, the real life everyone was living while we were dying?"

Duo threw the weed at me and stood up in a flourish. He stalked back toward home as I stumbled to my feet.

"Duo – "

He spun around to face me. "Why aren't you pissed yet, Heer… Shoib… whoever the hell you are! Are you ready to finally accept defeat after everything we worked for? We did everything to forge a brave new world for the colonies. So the colonies could have peace and L2 could see improvement, and kids wouldn't have to steal and suck dicks to survive! Did any of it happen, 01? Are the kids safe? Are we in any less degree of shit than before the Alliance came? Mission Accomplished!"

"I don't care, you're beautiful."

_The haze clears from your eyes, on a Sunday._

My love's face lost every last drop of its anger the second the words left my lips. He looked at me, the person who was swiftly changing from my partner in the wars. I walked up to him and he put his arm around my shoulders and we slowly made our way back home.

I knocked out the Oz soldier guarding the door and Duo took care of the two in the entrance. We had thirty seconds to get out with the blueprints before the base exploded. I turned down the hallway to the hangar. The walls were wet somehow, a blood red liquid was running down them from the ceiling. I'm stuck in a nightmare, I knew. My body was reacting to the lack of chemical additives, and it was warping my memories.

Duo rounded the corner, his sadistic smirk set firmly in place, despite his now blue hair that made him look more like Keiichi Sei. I reached the latch to the hanger when I heard Duo yelp. I turned to see two Oz soldiers dragging my unconscious partner down the hallway, his sneakers squeaking along the floor.

No, this isn't how it happened. We made it out of this one, Duo wasn't captured. I ran toward them but something held me back a step away. I turned back and saw Dr. J holding some sort of instrument that bound my hands behind my back. Dr. J? What was he doing here?

The two soldiers stopped dragging Duo, letting his arms drop to the floor with a sickening thud. One of them took out his gun, aimed it at Duo, and shot.

-bang-

"NOO! He's alive! He lived!"

The shot echoed down the hallway and Duo's body jerked. The soldier re-set his gun.

-bang-

Duo's limp body bounced an inch or two in the air.

"GODDAMMIT! It didn't happen!"

"Heero! It's a dream, wake up Heero!"

-bang-

-bang-

I burst into tears as someone shook my shoulders. I collapsed to the floor of the hallway but was held back when I tried to crawl to Duo. His body was so mangled after being shot at such close range, his blood was seeping down the hallway, yet the soldier cocked his gun and fired again and again.

"NO! I LOVED HIM! DUO! GODDAMMIT, GODDAMMIT!"

'Hello there!' The annoying kid that shot me a couple of weeks ago swung into my cockpit as I was working on it. I ignored him and kept working. 'Oh yeah sorry for shooting ya that one time, although I can't think it did much damage since you can set your own broken leg.' He made a disgusted face. I looked at him with the deadliest glare I could muster, he needed to get out of my Gundam and stop emphasizing that he was the first person to ever actually hit me, something that scared me to the core.

The boy sighed and swung himself through the hatch, turning back to wink at me. 'By the way, the name's Death. Write my name somewhere safe.'

"Shoibi, Shoibi wake up. You need to wake up, I'm here, it's Duo. Shoibi."

Duo was holding my shoulders in the darkness of his room at the school. I had somehow made it to the door and was crouched in front of it. Duo was crouched down with me, his hair tousled from sleep, his eyes wide with fear. I was breathing harshly, but Duo's grip was keeping me from slipping into the hallucination again.

"Duo, Triton is … Trowa…"

"What are you talking about?" Although his voice shook with fear, it was soft and comforting.

I coughed painfully, "I want … to always … be your Heero." I bent over from the searing burn raking through my chest.

Duo's trembling hands moved from my shoulders to my back. He embraced me and I felt hot tears wet my shirt, "Heero, I love you, I love you."

_Because when the ride's done,  
The hopes that you have carried,  
They fall out from your hands back to the ground.  
Live with that.  
Learn as the drugs leave.  
Learn as you lose it.  
You will.  
The haze clears from your eyes, on a Sunday._

A/N: The song Duo sings in his room is something I wrote for my friend that died in the war in Iraq. If you want to use it, please ask first. Thank you for reading! Any suggestion are greatly appreciated._  
_


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, Jimmy Eat World, Trio, or Train.

This chapter is dedicated to Ian, gymnastics-lover, and yaeko for reviewing chapter 3.

Chapter Four

The next morning I awoke as the soft sound of children outside playing interrupted my sleep. I opened my eyes to see a pair of bare feet on the bed. Pushing myself into a sitting position, I faced my roommate, who by the looks of him had spent the remainder of the night watching over me. His gaze lifted to my eyes, and we sat there in silence.

I began to wonder, was there any way that I could be the answer to Duo's worries? Now that I am alive, Duo has his best friend back; couldn't I help him through his hard times? What was it going to take for my partner to smile like the crazy baka he used to be?

And then it hit me. Memories of the war, sitting and talking with Trowa after Wing's self-detonation, him telling me about Quatre and how he thought he was an angel. I remember saying something about Duo. I saw flashes of when Duo and I first met, when his grinning face appeared on the television screen telling me he was going to bust me out of the Alliance interrogation room, when I found him barely alive in an Oz jail cell more than once, when his silly face was the first one I saw after days of being tortured and interrogated, when he found me at the start of the Mariemaia incident and refused to let me go alone, when he appeared on my screen and wished me luck before going to Earth and helping Zechs and Noin.

Something popped into my head that I hadn't thought about since it happened. The first time I saw Quatre after the incident with the zero system, he had told me something completely absurd. He'd had tears in his eyes after telling me about his and Duo's trip to the circus only to find Trowa with total amnesia.

Then Quatre looked at me and said, "You know something strange? The zero system told me that you, Heero Yuy, were to love and protect pilot 02. I didn't believe it because I would have felt it with my space heart surely." He frowned, pain still in his expression from before. "I told Duo about it. He laughed it off and said it was impossible and that you guys were just buddies. I don't know why the system told me something so irrelevant to the war, but I had to tell you."

I had written this speech off as delirium from a compassionate person encountering the zero system. Duo shifted on the bed and looked out the window, the kids had gone back inside from the playground. I looked down at the mattress and began thinking of everything that had happened since I woke up. The school, the kids, Duo's new career, all of the things I'd learned about him that I didn't know, just adding to the complete picture of my best friend in the world.

I snorted and Duo looked at me. I had learned about Solo. Solo means one, Duo means two, he had obviously named himself after his best friend. It's no wonder the zero system told Quatre such a thing, I was pilot 01, and Duo 02, it must have assumed I was Solo. It would make sense that the system would be programmed with the pasts of the Gundam pilots, or at least being able to figure out most of it from infiltrating the minds of two of them. The system did what was necessary for the pilot to remain alive long enough for Zero to complete the mission, it probably thought that emotional stability was necessary in that.

So I wasn't meant to just spend time with Duo, I was meant to love him. A machine that takes over your mind had been subconsciously feeding me this all that time. I didn't truly understand the implications, but I knew I wanted what Trowa and Quatre had. What's the point of refusing destiny? I am a cheap machine to be programmed, after all.

I remembered something. Not only had we been reliable partners and best friends, but I had cared about Duo. After hearing him screaming when I self-detonated, I realized that he meant more to me than just someone fighting on the same side. He was my primary person, the one person I could completely trust, the one person that I wanted to make it out of this alive, the one person I wanted to see again…

And then I knew. After more than a year of being dead to the world, I remembered how much I had loved Duo. How could I have destroyed Libra otherwise? No matter how much the chemical treatments were supposed to keep me from feeling, I had fallen in love with my pal, and Dr. J didn't try to stop it because I used him to fuel me for my missions. And now he is sitting right in front of me, after having been deserted and told his best friend was dead, being left to try and pick up the pieces of his life after the war, with only memories of friends gone by waiting for him at home.

I knew I had to tell him, show him I remembered. I pushed away from the wall and reached for him but stopped in the middle of the bed. What if he had changed too much? What if Duo didn't love me like he did?

My war partner looked at me as if he knew everything I was thinking about. A devilish grin crept onto his face, the face of my best friend in the wars. In a flash, he launched himself at me, and for the first time since the wars, Duo and I hugged each other and just laughed.

We finally pulled ourselves out of the room in time for dinner. Once Duo locked the door, he joined me at my side and slipped his arm around my waist. I mimicked his gesture and he smiled as we walked toward the dining hall. For the rest of my time there, whenever Duo and I walked, we walked together, embraced.

When we sat down at a table, I pulled out something I'd bought at the grocery store from the pouch of my hoodie.

"Here Duo, try this, it's dark chocolate." Duo looked sidelong at me, pausing in his attempt to push the food around his plate so it looked like he'd eaten some of it.

His eyes got a curious expression as he eyed the bottle, "You bought me a milkshake? Thanks!" He took the bottle from me and drank a big swig. He made a face of disgust and quickly tried to hide it when he noticed that it didn't taste exactly like a milkshake. I almost laughed when he tried to smile at me to be nice and then looked at the label. I thought he would appreciate my gesture, but as he read the label his happy countenance turned to anger,

"A weight-gain shake?" He slammed the bottle on the table, getting everyone's attention.

"My fuckin' ass drink this shit get big as a mother-fuckin blimp."

I didn't flinch because I was used to how Duo spoke during the war, but the rest of the students had a different reaction. The younger kids looked quizzically at Duo, while the older boys sitting across from us were all grinning like it was Christmas morning. Jason finally broke the silence,

"Headmaster used vernacular! Dinner detention!" He yelled, pointing at Duo. Duo muttered something under his breath as he got up from the table. Everyone chuckled as their headmaster and resident world-famous pop star sauntered over to the corner of the dining hall and stood with his face to it. After a few minutes of finally figuring out what was happening, I joined Duo in the corner, poking and prodding him until he consented to laughing about it all.

Over the next four weeks, we proceeded to do more or less nothing except what I can now describe as fall in love. We worked with the kids on the maintenance projects and in the kitchens. We attended a couple of classes, but were promptly thrown out after Duo stretched his arms over his head (unknowingly exposing some of his stomach) and the girls in the class practically fainted away. I attended a couple of photo shoots with Duo and got to see the emotionally charged yet seductive pop star he can become. The last night before Duo was to leave for America, my friend tried to show me how to make love. What began as an earnest affair quickly evolved into a giggle-fest as Duo realized that I really didn't know anything about the matter and was quite clumsy at any task attempted. Though as the night wore on I recognized the gift Duo was giving to me, and I once again found myself wishing that day to be repeated everyday for the rest of my life.

After Duo left, I packed my bag and headed for the Preventors headquarters on L1. After settling into my assigned apartment, I entered the neighboring building for my appointment with Commander Une. I slipped through the door of her office to find Wufei standing behind the desk with his back to me. He was speaking softly into the phone in Chinese, his voice sounding stressed and tired. He hung up the phone and for a minute placed his hands on the window sill in front of him, his head bowed.

Just from the back, I could tell how much older Wufei appeared from the last time I'd seen him. He finally took a deep breath and picked up my profile that was next to him on the desk. With another deep breath he slowly turned to face me, looking at my application.

"Mr. Shoibi Mihor-"

Wufei's eyes nearly bugged out of his head as he stumbled back into the window sill and grabbed it with both hands, dropping my profile. Had no one really told him? _Dead man walking!_ Duo's voice popped into my mind, making me smile. What a strange phrase to say to someone after they self-detonate and take weeks to recover.

"H-Heero-" Chang managed to choke out.

"It's Mihoru Shoibi." I corrected as I sat my briefcase at my side, "I located my mother after the first war and have adopted my name since I came out of the coma." I made no move to sit down, considering the last time I'd seen the gundam pilot we'd been trying to kill each other, and his perseverance had left me so exhausted by the time the incident was over, it was no wonder I slipped into a coma thirteen months.

I realized he was not going to say anything more, "How's Sally?"

Wufei's eyes jerked up to me again, and I knew why he looked so worn, "She's great. We're expecting triplets, but she's been having complications with the pregnancy." He trailed off, looking down at nothing in particular.

I couldn't resist. "Then what the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm third from the top here, Mihoru." Wufei tried to glare at me despite his exhaustion. "Noin's on the Moon and Une's on Earth at a meeting with the Vice Foreign Minister. Why don't I show you your office." He moved to open the door for me.

We walked in silence down several hallways, with agents occasionally leaning out of their offices to look at us. Wufei never looked at me but I could tell he was thinking hard about something. His voice was low enough that no one in any of the offices could hear,

"So, have you gotten Maxwell to eat yet?"

I glanced at him. Apparently everyone was aware of his antics. "I don't have any authority to tell him what to do because I can't help L2, that's why he's doing it."

Wufei dug his hands into his pockets and looked at the ground, "He's doing it because that was his only option without you after the wars." He said as we stopped in front of my office and he handed me my key before walking off, "Don't blame him for being fucked. I know what it's like to love a dead man."

Reading the job description Une had left in my office, I was surprised that it did not involve field work and instead focused on research. What Quatre and Trowa had apparently been developing with the Preventors was an updated database on the technologies of warfare. Ongoing research and advancements kept strictly digital maintained the scientific superiority of the current peaceful regime, guaranteeing a solid plan of action should a rebellion ever take place. My job was to develop the security software to protect the research database.

So, after a quick meal, I set to work. After six hours I had designed a program to sufficiently protect a large database from even the most advanced hackers. If at the age of nine I could infiltrate the computer networks of an organization that had controlled the earth sphere and colonies for decades, I could certainly keep this up to date without spending too much time on it. The next task I set out to do took much more time. After forty-two straight hours of typing, I emerged with a project that I would take to Quatre. Twenty separate programs, all domestic inventions designed to better daily life in the office and at home. If Quatre thought it could sell, then I would set up a joint corporation and maybe make enough money to help Duo.

The weeks passed. Quatre set up my inventions as a separate company and it slowly gained revenue. The first time I got to see Duo since he left was on the cover of Colony Entertainment magazine. The shot was of Duo kneeling on the ground, his hands running through his blue and purple-streaked hair, his left foot the only thing keeping his modesty at bay. I scanned his beautiful, completely naked body. I had been visiting the school at the time when the magazine came out and Corey had a copy, along with every girl on the Earth and colonies. I looked at Duo's right arm and saw the burn mark from when a machine gun he'd picked off a dead Oz soldier backfired as we snuck into the center of the Lunar base.

Corey looked over my shoulder and pointed at Keiichi Sei's hip, where a swelled up scar was almost entirely hidden by his bent leg. "That's the brand from my gang. When we were little, the leader stole Duo in the middle of the night and brought him back to our turf. He was Solo's beautiful prize, after all. Solo had beaten us all to a pulp by the time our leader Jared confessed, but Duo had escaped by then."

I slapped his hand away from the magazine, grabbed another boy's copy and stormed off to the room Duo and I shared. If we can point out his scars, I could only imagine what all of civilization was doing to Duo with their eyes. That night I had the worst spell since the coma, and this time there was no warmth to stop its progress. I screamed and thrashed all night, awakening much more exhausted than before I'd gone to sleep. I left after my meeting with the headmistress, as the students were giving me fearful looks.

A package was waiting for me when I got to Preventors HQ. Noticing Duo's handwriting, I hastily ripped open the package and found a vid-chip. I popped the chip in my vid-phone and the screen went black. White bold letters faded into the center of the screen.

"IndependentFilms Presents:

A Praise Chorus"

That's right, I remember Duo telling me the name, this must be the trailer. A piano began gently playing, and the view changed to a bedroom in a house by the ocean. The sheets were pulled off the bed and being used by the occupant in the room to clothe himself as he stood beside the bed. The camera focused on a full front view of his down-turned face, and as he lifted his head I saw precious Keiichi Sei look me in the eyes and start to sing. The piano softened to almost nothing, making his resonant voice nearly accapella.

"Well I dreamed I saw  
The knights in armor coming  
Saying something about a queen.  
There were peasants singing  
And drummers drumming  
And the archers split the tree."

As he sang, the picture rapidly switched to the other characters. It showed a young doctor carrying mutilated children from a battle zone, then a civil rights activist picketing with citizens outside a capital in Asia. A female news reporter was standing in front of what looked like a massive protest in Europe, then a boy in a military uniform hiding behind a building in some sort of urban assault. The screen once again showed Keiichi, his eyes pleading as he opened his mouth to sing the second verse.

"I was lying in a burned out basement  
With the full moon in my eyes."

The scene dimmed to a slightly older man lying in a jail cell, his uniform torn and caked with dirt and blood. He slowly awoke and took in his surroundings. Pulling something from his clothes, he set to picking the lock and running out of what looked like a P.O.W. holding base.

"I was hoping for replacement  
When the sun burst through the skies.  
"There was a banner playing in my head  
And I felt like I could cry"

As the special ops prisoner ran, Duo looked at the floor and sang. The now cleaned up officer ran into the room and they embraced, followed by the doctor and activist kissing, and the reporter and soldier hugging. As my Duo held that man, his beautiful voice sang to me as the camera spun around the couple and then faded into darkness.

"I was thinking about what a friend had said  
I was hoping it was a lie.  
Thinking about what a friend had said  
Hoping it was a lie."

I turned off my vid-phone and picked up the package to throw it away. A note fell out of the wrapping. I took it and looked at Duo's scrawl,

"I look around, what I've got  
Without you isn't a lot.  
Get to me."

I smiled as I placed the note on my desk. That was all the permission I needed.

A/N: Thank you for reading! Any suggestions you might have are greatly appreciated and used to help my writing. I thought I would include my top GW fanfics for others looking for a good read (better than mine!) 1. Through the Storm, Inheritance, and Goosebumps (1x2) by Sparkle Itamahii. 2. If Wishes Were Fishes (1x2) by Mazmaraz. 3. The Prince and the Fairy King (1x2) by C-Chan2 a.k.a. Neptunesdemon. 4. Wilderness (3x4) by Dentelle-noir. 5. In the Stars (13x5) by Moon Princess Serena. 6. For Life (3x4) by theSilence. 7. Through the Vortex (1x2) by Bane's Desire. 8. The Medallion (1x2) by Caroline Michelle. 9. Eclipse of Dusk (1x2) by Hseru. 10. Chemical Romance (1x2) by Luchia13. 11. Imperfect Kisses (1x2) by Amarin Rose. 12. Memories of You (3x4) by Sindy Feesh. 13. Shall we Dance? (1x2) by Caroline Michelle. 14. Ashes and Cloves (1x2) by HeeroDuo1x2x1. 15. Out of the Sea (3x4) by Jo-9tails. 16. Some Kind of Wonderful (1x2) by Swordy Rides Again. 17. Silence (1x4) by TechnoRevolution. 18. Untouched and Alive (Digimon daito) by rzrblade33.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Wufei gave me directions to where Duo's bodyguard reported that he would be that day. I spent the flight on my computer, constantly checking the stocks on my company and making revisions for the newest version of the software. With a little persuasion and anonymous promotion from Winner Enterprises, I had risen as the colonies' newest entrepreneur, trying my best to make a name for my company in order to help my best friend pull his people out of destitution.

I found the studio for Success Magazine bustling with life. Duo waved me over, having been told of my visit by his Preventor bodyguard. I practically ran over to him, but on closer inspection my happiness turned to worry as I saw the way Duo's shirt hung from him and his skin had lost its hue. He either didn't know that I had noticed or wanted to pretend I hadn't, as the jovial smile never left his once handsome face. Duo stepped forward and grabbed both of my hands, and despite the feeling of sickness that had come over me, I grinned. The crew seemed to be preparing for the next series of shots, and Duo was waiting.

A security guard approached me and asked me to leave. Duo protested and his bodyguard pulled out the clearance form. The security guard scrutinized the form and snorted and said,

"This is rubbish. Sir, state your name."

I fixed the guard with my darkest glare and growled, "Mihoru Shoibi of Mikoshi Incorporated."

Duo ducked his head to my level and peered at me, "Mikoshi Incorporated?"

I was granted clearance but the environment became hectic when the word got out of who I was. Duo's manager begged to have the two of us pose for a cover shot.

"So, what's Mikoshi Incorporated?" Duo cut to the chase on the drive to his apartment.

I sighed, "It's just something I've been doing to fill the time. Mikoshi is my mother's name." _Hoping to make enough to save your kids so you don't starve to death in this wretched business._

When Duo didn't say anything, I said, "So you're done filming A Praise Chorus, what are you going to do now?"

Duo's clenched his hands on the steering wheel a little tighter for a split second. His face lit up, "Actually, I've been asked to do another movie. I've been filming for that and promoting 'A Praise Chorus' in between." Silence ensued. Duo clenched and released his jaw. "This one pays me a lot more, Heero." He smiled, "In fact, after this movie I'll be able to build enough dorm space to get all the L2 orphans in school. Then I think I'll call it quits." I looked at him and he smiled again, "I'll do a farewell tour and best hits album to seal enough for the kids to go to college until Quatre gets the colony. I'll leave on good terms in case I ever need to come back, if L2 can't be saved."

I looked out the window, "So if all goes as planned, what will you do when you come home?" I was almost afraid to ask for fear of the answer. When none came I brought my gaze back to a very disturbed looking Duo. He coughed and then spoke,

"I thought I would join full time as your partner with Preventors, since we did kick some ass in the war and you seem to like the idea."

I reached up and pushed a strand of hair out of his face as he drove. "I would really like that Duo." I smiled.

We made it to Duo's apartment, but didn't get a chance to do much as I forced him into a hug the minute he shut the door. I wanted to show Duo how much better I'd gotten at making love, but he seemed so tired that I was content to hold him and drift into sleep.

"You are my sunshine

My only sunshine

You make me happy

When skies are gray

You'll never know how

Much I love you

So please don't take

My sunshine away."

My eyes slowly came open. Duo was sitting up in the bed, holding my head in his lap and running his fingers through my hair. I didn't want him to stop. I stroked his leg and looked up at him.

"Where did you learn that song?"

Duo looked down at my face, a few strands of hair falling around us. "It's a song one of my best friends taught me a long time ago."

"Was it Solo?" My question caught Duo completely off guard. His eyes widened and he took in a sharp breath, his expression suspicious.

I hurried to justify myself, "Corey said that he was your gang leader on L2."

Duo slowly smiled. He continued stroking my head, his eyes staring off into space. "He told me he picked me up from a whore house when I looked two and a half or three. He was so cool, everybody loved him, especially me. Solo was ten when he found me. I became his lover when I was five and he was twelve. He sang to all of us, especially when one by one we came down with the plague, but that song was only sung to me." I laid there helpless as I saw Duo's beautiful eyes brim with tears. He shut his eyes tight and whispered, "I wish he was here." I sat up and brought him to my chest.

We stayed as we were for several long minutes before I broke free of his embrace and reached for my duffel on the floor at the foot of the bed. I zipped open the unusually full bag and took out what I was looking for.

"Duo, isn't today the day the kids chose for your birthday?"

I looked at Duo to see him hug his knees and rest his chin on them. "Yeah," he said softly. "Solo's birthday was yesterday…"

I turned around and smiled, "Well then you have to accept my birthday gift." I crawled over to him and placed the long black case in his lap. Duo's face scrunched, recognizing the shape of the case but still doubting himself. His mouth opened silently as he opened the lid and ran his hand along the smooth surface of the guitar. He slowly lifted the shiny black electric from the case and rested it on his leg, running his fingers down the strings. I touched the his left hand that was adjusting the strings and pushed it away for him to see the back of the arm. Stretching across the oak wood of the back of the arm in gothic letters was "Deathsycthe."

Duo's eyes almost popped out of his head when he read the engraving. He stopped his strumming and looked up at my face, our eyes locked. I was expecting happiness or excitement, but what I got was completely different. The look in his eyes drew me back into the war, back into my hallucinations, all the running, all the pain we felt. I'd learned a long time ago how to read Duo's every facial expression, every movement of body language. I didn't know why, but I was torn apart at the urgent and almost hysterical look in Duo's eyes. It clearly said, "I'm haunted, and it's killing me."

I pushed the guitar aside and pulled him over to me, kissing him fervently. He gave into the kiss and let me pull him down to the mattress. As much as I refused to admit it, I knew that I had lost Duo completely. He'd given himself away, despite the fact that I'd come back from the dead to spend the rest of my life with him. But I'd be damned if I went down without a fight, that part of me never changed.

I returned to the colonies with renewed urgency and a sense of dread. I had to get the company's stocks up and quick, Duo wasn't going to eat until this was over, and if I didn't hurry it would all be over with his death. I never asked him about this, but I wondered if he was planning on using his death to help L2, some sort of last ditch effort to raise the funds needed for his cause.

I entered the W.E.I. headquarters and went up to the fourth floor. As I got closer to Quatre's office I heard his and Trowa's voices in some sort of an argument. I slipped through the door and was met with a scene I never expected to find once Trowa paired with his lover.

Quatre was standing behind the desk, his arms were crossed and his head was down. Trowa was in the corner facing the window, his hands in his suit coat pockets, his voice low and pained,

"I'm telling you if I cannot go, then you're not going. If you get killed because you insisted on visiting a crisis area without your head of security who just happens to be a former terrorist, then all that we have fought for will be in vain. I don't give a fuck about the rest of the world, I just want you. I will not let you sacrifice yourself for a world that is not worthy of it."

Although I'm sure they were both aware of my entering, it didn't stop Quatre from glaring daggers at the top of his desk, and Trowa bringing his hands up to rub his temples. I was trying to remember something I'd heard other kids say to each other after they fought at St. Gabriel's, what was it…"

Oh that was it. I crossed my arms, leaning against the office door and growled, "Kiss and make up."

The café around the corner was alive with bustling Christmas shoppers. We were seated on the patio, Quatre sat in front of me and Trowa sat to his side to get a good view of everything. Quatre smiled as he leaned in to speak to me,

"I saw the premier of Duo's movie last week, it's wonderful!" He said happily.

I nodded, also smiling. "If the stocks increase enough, I think I may be able to bring Duo home for Christmas." This got the attention of my two friends. I was barely able to conceal my happiness, "The security system's at fifteen million right now, if it moves up a couple more points it'll be forty million. All we need is for it to stay that way for three weeks and then we'll have enough to build dorms for the rest of the kids on L2, and Duo can have more flexibility with his career."

"What has Duo been doing since filming ended anyway?" Quatre questioned.

I push back in my chair, "He's signed on for another movie. He says this one will bring in a lot more than 'A Praise Chorus'."

Trowa's eyes paused on me halfway through his scan of the crowd. Quatre took a similar expression, "That's funny, I haven't seen any advertisement's for the new movie."

As the waiter came with our food I realized that after this long with the last movie, I had already received several video clips and a trailer from Duo, but had received nothing from him. We ate in silence, Quatre only nibbling at his food as he punched something into his hand-held vid-chip. My thoughts drifted to Duo, hearing the children squeal outside the nearby toyshops.

A harsh gasp from Quatre brought me back to the present and I looked to see my friend covering his mouth as if he was going to vomit. Trowa took his vid-chip, and after only a second's glance his face became the emotionless mask he had worn during the war. He finally set the chip down, startling all of us when he slammed his empty hand against the table. Quatre started crying, and I reached for his vid-chip as Trowa moved to embrace his lover.

I opened the vid-chip and looked at the article displayed on the screen after Quatre had apparently searched for Keiichi Sei. The web page was black and read, with a picture of Keiichi Sei on the left side. He was naked and lying on a bed, a black sheet barely covering what was necessary. It didn't look too different from his album photos, but what was different was the text.

"Filming has begun on the much anticipated third movie of the Gangbanger Series. A young teenager out of work (played by rising popstar KEIICHI SEI) wanders into the GB hideout, offering himself in exchange for safety and protection.

"The video is set to release in July, after a long delay by director Mike Cohan. Cohan insisted that he have Keiichi Sei play the lead, so production was delayed for several months until a contract was signed.

"With the leading role filled by someone so famous, profits are expected to skyrocket for GB 3, an estimated 50+ million to be made in the opening weekend. Why not join in the fun? Now the entire world (and twelve lucky men) gets what we've always wanted, to fuck Keiichi Sei."

The world stopped moving. I handed the chip back and pushed my chair from the table, Quatre and Trowa one step behind. He piled into Quatre's car and went to the shuttle port.

A/N: Sorry if it looked like Chapter Four was the last chapter, there's still a couple more. Thank you for reading so far, and please leave any suggestions or complaints. -KS


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

We took Quatre's personal shuttle so we could get there faster and not attract much attention. I sat next to Triton, he'd tried to keep Quatre from coming, but had received a gun locked in between his eyes as a response. If it hadn't been so serious a situation I would have laughed out loud.

The three of us sat in silence. After a while, I saw Quatre place his pale hand on top of Triton's, causing him to turn his head to his fiancé. Quatre smiled and squeezed his hand. "I talked over the proposal with Asabi, Iria's twin. She, Umali, and Maia think the executive logistics can be divided among us to reduce my workload by about sixty percent."

When Triton didn't say anything, Quatre forced a smile. "I want to start spending more time with you. I'm sorry I've been so stubborn about it." Triton nodded and faced forward again. I turned to look out the window. In the reflection, I saw Quatre reach up to wipe his eyes. Triton started petting his hair, trying to comfort him. When that didn't seem to help, he finally scooped Quatre out of his chair and carried him to the back of the shuttle. I sighed, thinking of the life I wish I had with Duo. I knew he valued me as a friend, but for once I couldn't read exactly what he was feeling. I was so jealous of Triton, he had the affections of the one he loved, and of the one I loved.

The shuttle arrived a little past midnight Earth time. Duo's bodyguard picked us up from the port, saying he'd been instructed by Wufei to take us to the filming studio. Quatre jumped in the front seat and assaulted the guard with questions about Duo. The agent said he'd been sworn to secrecy by Duo under the threat of a slow and painful death. We leapt out of the car when it pulled up to the studio, Quatre breaking down the door as Triton and I took surveillance. Trowa lead us down a long hallway toward the main studio. I veered left to a smaller hallway, thinking I'd heard something. We continued in silence until I felt Trowa's hand on my shoulder. I turned around to see Quatre frozen to the spot ten feet behind us, his right hand clutching his chest and his face looking as if he'd been shot.

Trowa retrieved the gun that was violently shaking in Quatre's left hand and helped his lover to stand. Quatre looked at me and then the door to his right. I dashed to the door, wondering why I hadn't felt Duo's presence like I'd been able to during the wars. I opened the door and followed a narrow hallway toward a set of rooms that looked like offices, Trowa and Quatre close behind. As I neared the largest door, my heart clenched when I recognized Duo's voice.

Although I'd tried to ignore the sounds, what I saw confirmed the one thing I'd hoped to never find besides Duo as a corpse. The man, apparently Cohan, pulled away from his desk, wrapping his robe around himself. Before he could say anything, Trowa had him on the ground unconscious. I ran over to the table to find Quatre checking Duo for a pulse. Duo was laying across the table with his legs bent up and his feet on the edge. My eyes ran over his naked skeleton, we knew he was alive simply because he was shivering and sweating. Someone had raped, beaten, and drugged my loved one. As I stared, Quatre wrapped his coat around Duo's lank form and carried him out of the studio. Triton caught my attention, he looked as if he wanted to stay to kill Cohan, but I think he knew that I should do it. He looked at me and let out a breath,

"We'll take Quatre's shuttle and get Duo to Sally." He motioned to the man, "I'll leave him to you, but take the quickest shuttle back, in case these are our last moments with him."

When Triton left, I stood in the office over that horrible man. I remembered standing like this before, holding my gun at a fallen man that had caused the world so much pain. Before, I had said that I didn't want to fight anymore, that I didn't have to. And here I am again, after awakening from my silent death, realizing that war does not end in this life. No matter whether you chose to face it with a full scale battle or let it run freely, greed and corruption will continue to abuse others and cause misery. For the ones in this life that choose to care, the only thing you can do is try to bring an early death to others until yours is taken. Fight your hardest, and when you die, call it a good life.

The anger burning within me had wanted to revive the man and slowly torture him to death, but with a shuddering breath I knew I had to get back to Duo so that he could die in my arms. Adjusting my silencer, I fired shot after shot into him, the bouncing body reminding me of my nightmares several months ago. After that I looted the office and was able to find some cash and items that would get us a few thousand dollars on the black market. If Duo was willing to sell himself for those kids, then I was willing to kill the entire world.

I didn't hear from Quatre or Triton for the entirety of my flight back to the colonies, so I assumed it was still hectic and Duo was not awake. I arrived at Wufei and Sally's residence and charged into the house. Even though it was the middle of the night, Wufei was in the kitchen, washing dishes. Not even bothering to turn around, he said,

"In the study, Heero."

I ran down the hall and into the room. Duo was laying in a reclining hospital bed, hooked up to several IVs and a heart monitor. They had given him a large t-shirt and shorts, and Quatre and Triton were gently dabbing cloths up and down his legs and arms. Sally was sitting in a wheelchair next to the bed, her pregnant belly protruding almost out to her knees. She turned to me,

"Heero, you're here. Duo has been injected with a lethal amount of ecstacy. From what I can tell, his body has been exposed to it for several months to a year, and that is why it didn't kill him immediately. He slipped into an epileptic seizure the minute Quatre and Trowa got him into the house, but he has not had a fit since then. We've been trying to stabilize him for the past two-and-a-half hours, but it looks as if he's not going to stabilize."

Sally turned to instruct Quatre and Triton as Wufei came into the room. "I suggest you three continue to cleanse him and try to remove as much of the drug from his pores as you can. Monitor his temperature and if it gets too low, call Wufei. Now I must get back in bed, or four more lives will be joining our poor friend."

Wufei wheeled her out of the room. I dimmed the lights and came up to touch Duo's cold shoulder. Trowa handed me his towel and began rummaging in the medical supplies for lotion to put on his skin. Quatre spoke low in almost a whisper,

"Iria's flying in a couple of hours." With a hesitant look toward Triton, he continued. "Sally seems to think Duo won't last another twelve hours. He's got an irregular heartbeat, and the seizure almost finished him right then and there."

I nodded, "We'll make him as comfortable as we can for the next few hours and help him to let go."

Quatre hissed and Trowa stopped to look at me. I returned them with a glare. "Would you want him to return to this life? To face a broken world where everyone wants something from him and he has to give until it kills him?" I rubbed the towel up to his neck and looked at my lover's face. "…I just want him to be free, to be able to fly freely, away from all of this."

We worked tirelessly for four hours until Iria arrived and did a full examination. Duo had internal bleeding, a hole in his stomach and a tear in his heart that was causing the irregularity and loss of oxygen to the brain, along with muscle and bone damage due to his anorexia and abuse.

Iria, who had been informed of Duo's plight by Quatre over the last months, didn't even attempt to suggest that we should have known something like this was going on, but I think all of us were running that through our minds. Duo's temperature seemed to come close to normal and he calmed down quite a bit. Iria left for the local hospital after calling to request a unit of blood and some more IV fluids. We'd been going over a day without sleep, so Quatre went into the room across the hall to rest for a couple of hours and then give either Trowa or myself a break, although I knew neither of us wanted one. I pulled a chair close to the bed as Triton sat down, tossing the rag he'd been wiping Duo with into the pile by the door. He mimicked me and scooted close to our friend on the other side and stroked his hair.

"He's so beautiful." Triton murmured.

"Yeah." I finally managed a small smile.

I looked at Triton and hesitated for a moment. "I still can't see how you guys dated when I was in the coma. I can't see why you would leave him."

Triton snorted and brushed Duo's bangs out of his face, eyes glazed over and a small smile on his lips. "I had his engagement ring in my pocket the day he came back and told me to return to Quatre. He's so easy to love, Shoibi, the whole world is in love with him. You may think they just desire him, but when I went with him to various premiers and he met his fans, it was different. Everyone wants to be strong like him, they want his energy."

"They want him to save them." I grunted out. "They're so busy thinking about their own wishes that they don't notice the people suffering around them."

Trowa looked at me, smiling. "And Duo does. That's what he's good at. Same as Quatre, Duo just doesn't have the same power to help people that Quatre does. He has to do it his own way."

We both chuckled at our crazy friend's antics. Triton sighed and looked back at Duo, "I really think he'll pull through Shoibi, Duo's not one to give up on something like this."

I nodded and we sat in silence for a moment.

"What kind of flowers does Duo like?"

Triton laughed, arranging Duo's collar so it hung more loosely around his neck. "He likes black roses, Sho'. On the anniversary of the Maxwell Church Tradgedy he had the entire cathedral full of them. I've never seen so many people and kids pray."

Triton looked down at Duo, deep in thought. When he finally decided to speak, it was in a soft and pained voice. "It took the longest time for him to come to love me. He accepted that you were gone, but I don't think he tried to stop loving you."

"Love me?" I looked at him funny, "In the war we were just friends."

Triton scoffed, "Quatre notices things, Heero. One day when we had a mission together he came to me and said, 'You know how Heero calls us by our pilot numbers? Well, he calls pilot 02 'pal' instead'." I scrunched up my face, not really remembering showing much bias. Triton pushed on, "Shoibi, do you remember how much Duo obsessively loved Deathscythe, and how much it killed him when it was blown up? Do you remember what he used to say to refer to his Gundam?"

I nodded and smiled, "He called it 'my buddy.'"

Trowa leaned forward. "And do you remember how Duo always addressed us, much to our annoyance: 'Tro-, 'Quat-, 'Wu-, 'Sal-, '-Lena? Do you remember how he addressed you, and ONLY you?"

I furrowed my eyebrows, trying to remember something so subtle from a past blocked by chemicals and nightmares. When I didn't respond, Triton sat back in his chair and looked at me,

"'Buddy', Shoibi. Besides Deathscythe, you were the only one he called 'buddy'."

I sat there in silence, looking at Duo. "… I didn't know…"

For the next hour, Triton took the liberty of telling me everything he had learned about Duo from their relationship, things I'd missed and hadn't had time to learn in the wars. We shared a laugh over the time Trowa had found Keiichi Sei's big blue wig and some kinky longerie in the bedroom and thought Duo was parading as a drag queen at local bars. He was telling me about the times Duo'd played pranks on the former gang rivals at Forsaken when he both stopped instantly.

The heart monitor had beeped twice in rapid succession. Trowa was checking the IV needle when Duo made a loud hiss. I jumped up from my chair and watched as his back arched off of the hospital bed and then he began convulsing hysterically.

Trowa leapt toward Duo, pinning his shoulders down and bellowed for Quatre. Quatre raced into the room and saw what was happening. He flipped open his vid-phone, "Iria! Duo's having another seizure!" His eyes were wide and I heard Iria command through the phone,

"Get someone to hold his head! Quatre, get in my bag and take out the suppressor -"

I hurdled onto the bed, grabbing Duo's head in both of my arms and clutching him to my chest. Quatre climbed up to him and tried to force his mouth open. There was no succeeding. As Duo fought against me, Quatre burst into tears and screamed, "OPEN YOUR MOUTH DUO OR YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING DIE, YOU STUPID IDIOT!" We managed to get the suppressor into his mouth and free his airway. Without any warning, Duo completely relaxed, the heart monitor taking a moment to go back to its steady pace. Quatre removed the instrument from Duo's mouth and collapsed on the side of the bed, sobbing for all he was worth. Trowa finally released Duo's limbs, and we both stared numbly at our friend, his cries permeating the deathly silence of the room, expressing our emotions for us.

Trowa finally took Quatre by the shoulders and led him out of the room, leaving Duo and I alone. I curled around the love of my life, still holding his head to my chest, prepared to spend my last night with him. I thought of the time we'd spent together since I came back, _"__Heero, sing me something"._ I smiled, I would sing to him all night, tell him about all of the beautiful things in the world, all of the things I wanted to share with him for the rest of our lives. I looked down at my angel and stroked his sunken cheek, thinking of one of my favorite songs I'd heard him sing.

"I didn't mean to leave you hanging on  
I didn't mean to leave you all alone  
I didn't know what to say  
Didn't know what to say.  
Merry Christmas, baby  
Merry Christmas."


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, Jimmy Eat World, or Lifehouse.

This chapter is dedicated to yaeko, WickedGame, gymnastics-lover, Fire-Hawk-1986, sketch13, darklady919, and Kohana Fields for reviewing Chapter Six. Thank you for your support.

Chapter Seven

_Live your precious life,  
You beautiful boy.  
Know that we love you,  
I love you,  
So much it kills me.  
That is why we die, you know.  
You die because of our betrayal._

_Oh, but God I believe,  
I believe in you.  
You will save us,  
You goddamned beautiful boy.  
And when I die,  
For I will die early,  
It is for you._

I turned to look at Duo's face, stroking his hair that had come out of the braid. It had been four hours since the last seizure. Iria returned and Duo received blood and new IV bags. After the others left, Iria told me that the safest thing for Duo to do at this point is to go into a comatose state for recovery. She said it was impossible to estimate the amount of brain damage Duo might have incurred from the drugs while he was still unstable, but once he went into a coma, they would be able to get a firm idea.

Now alone again with my best friend, I sang him the songs I knew off of his albums, trying to do anything that might put his heart at ease. I didn't want him to go into an inactive state, especially if he had brain damage. He didn't need to suffer anymore. I stroked his cheek and kissed the top of his head,

"Duo, it's Heero. I want you to know that I'm here with you, and that it's okay for you to let go."

I sighed, trying to hold back my tears, wishing the hardest I ever have that he was hearing me. "I was going to tell you this at Christmas, but Mikoshi Inc. has almost enough profit to sustain the school. The kids that graduated have been sending their Preventors paychecks back to the academy, and the nuns have set up a college fund. Please, Duo, everyone here will be fine, you can go now. We don't want you to be like this."

_As your tears stream,  
I am so sorry.  
I tried to change the world, to  
Change us,  
But it is hard, angel.  
Please, do not cry.  
We are not worth crying for._

In the numbness of losing the most important thing to me, I carried on humming, singing or just talking about anything I could think of, hoping I would hear the heart monitor give up and my love finally rest. Iria and the others came in and out over the next day checking on him. After two days I fell asleep, waking when I felt someone move Duo. I looked up to find Trowa wiping Duo's arm with a wet rag.

"What are you doing to him?" My voice was sore from overuse.

"We have to bathe him to keep away infection." Triton gave me a worried look.

"Let me do it." I took the rag from him and got between him and Duo. Slowly, I bathed Duo and put him in a fresh set of clothes. We transferred Duo to the local medical center in a private wing. I didn't allow anyone else to touch him, insisting they show me what needed to be done and that I do it myself. I awoke on the morning of the third day and Iria told me that Duo had gone into a coma.

Wufei came to visit that afternoon. We had been sitting in silence a little over an hour when his vid-phone beeped. His eyes widened when he saw the message, and without a second look sprinted out of the room and down the hall. Quatre ran in a couple moments later and told me that Sally had gone into labor and that everyone was going to the delivery wing. I stayed with Duo. By a stroke of luck, the mother and all three girls survived, despite being delivered six weeks early. Sally was to stay in the hospital for a couple of days and the triplets were placed in ICU.

I sent my mother a bouquet of flowers and a brief note explaining why I couldn't make it for Christmas. For a week I tended to Duo and refused to leave his side. I watched his videos over and over again, memorizing every word and movement of the precious friend next to me. The others came and went between Duo's room and the ICU center, Quatre and Trowa returning to work eventually, leaving me.

_Sweep the dirty stairs, the ones I waited on.  
This is just for me.  
I felt it watching her._

Duo had been in the hospital ten days when Quatre came to visit me with a stack of papers in his hand. He looked very tired and disturbed as he set the papers on Duo's bed and sat down, running a hand through his bangs. I paused my vid player and waited for him to speak. He motioned to the papers,

"When Duo came into money he set up a living will, with everything going to me, and if I was not in health, then to Trowa and subsequently Hilde, Sally and Wufei. If you'd been alive and well, I'm pretty sure he would have set it up to go to you, so I asked Dorothy to change it."

I looked at the papers, not quite understanding the relevance, "He's already allotted his earnings to the school, and he is very much alive."

"Yes, Shoibi," Quatre sighed, looking at Duo, "but Duo also gave me power of attorney, should he ever be in a position where he can't make decisions for himself." I looked up at him, reminded of what Relena had said to me when I woke up in Sanq. Quatre continued, his voice much softer, "Iria says that Duo's chances of coming out of the coma are close to zero, and with the amount of brain damage he might have taken, he'll just continue to be in pain before his heart finally gives out. I knew you would want to be the one to make this decision, so you need to decide when you're going to let him go ahead and leave us."

The red rims around his eyes told me that Quatre had already cried his tears on the trip to the hospital. I opened the vid chip and saw Keiichi in a minister's robe in front of a gospel choir, for once truly smiling, everyone in the frame singing their hearts out.

"Cheer up my brother  
Live in the sunshine  
Wipe all those tears dry  
And carry on

Cheer up my brother  
Live in the season  
Pray for good reason  
And carry on"

Watching Duo's joyous face, it didn't take long for me to know what to do. I looked at Quatre, "Can you find something nice for Duo to wear at his burial, please."

I went home and packed a small suitcase and placed a call to my public relations executive for Mikoshi Incorporated. I ordered a glass room from a factory on L3 and had it sent to the school by the next day, then Duo followed on Quatre's private shuttle. Under Iria's strict caution, my love was rolled onto a platform in the courtyard of the Maxwell Tragedy Memorial, the glass walls of the house protecting him from the weather, a raised bed concealing the machinery he was using. Quatre found him a beautiful silk gown and a veil to cover his hair. I spoke with the headmistress and asked the entire school to convene in the cathedral.

Once the chamber was filled to maximum capacity with students and the black roses I'd ordered, I stepped to the front of the pews, stopping in the center.

"My name is Mihoru Shoibi. The headmaster for this school has become critically ill due to the stresses of his career and attempts to support the Forsaken. He has fallen into a comatose state that doctors expect will lead to his death in the coming weeks. As his closest friend, I have inherited his will and therefore the Academy for the Forsaken is now under the patronage of my company, Mikoshi Incorporated. As such, the guidelines for your lives are going to change."

When I mentioned Duo's situation, the cathedral became silent as death. Some of the children near the windows looked out at the curtained glass chamber in the courtyard that everyone had passed on their way in. I swept the crowd with my glance, catching everyone's eyes and locking them in.

"The graduates of the academy are building a college fund for the current classes. Every future graduating student is expected to be admitted to an institution ranked into the top ten percent in the Earth Sphere, also earning enough scholarship to pay at least one fourth of their education without relying on the college fund. Each collegiate student will be monitored and is expected to stay within the top ten percentile of students at the institution. They must graduate in a technical discipline that yields at the very least the living cost of one student at the Academy each year. The graduates will use their salary to sponsor current students still at the Academy. When there is enough room, this school will take in the rest of the war orphans on the L2 colony and the children from the former prisoner camp on L3.

"When all colonial children are accounted for, the profits of Mikoshi and Forsaken will go to the orphans of the Moon and Earth that were our enemies in the war. The leaders of E.S.U.N. are instigating a global anti-poverty campaign that this school will participate in by taking the world's youth and educating them until there is no child left behind. Therefore, it is your duty to abide by your new contract, if not for the sake of your own future and of other orphans, than for the man lying in the courtyard that sacrificed himself for your well being."

_Spinning and spinning  
Do you believe in what you want?  
Dancing in plastic shake-up snow  
Do you believe in what you want?_

The inhabitants of the cathedral were dismissed as my public relations executive called to give me the number of the shuttle I was to board. For the next six months, I visited all the major cities of the Earth Sphere and told them about Duo. The owner of Mikoshi Incorporated was best friends with the fallen pop star, having met while defending Relena Peacecraft and the Sanq Kingdom during the wars. Keiichi Sei was an orphan from L2 that came to Earth to fight, wanting nothing more than to support the other kids on his colony and orphans everywhere.

The word of Keiichi Sei's fate spread like wildfire through the Earth and Colonies. I was on the cover of every magazine and the guest of every television station. Everywhere I went, Keiichi's posing form could be seen on the public vid screens, his smile gracing shop windows and billboards. My dancing friend followed me from city to city, propelling me forward to share the love I never once felt for another person until I learned to love him. Despite the number of times I had watched and memorized his videos, I always found myself stopped in the middle of the street, looking up at Duo.

_Remember me, she says smiling  
Write my name somewhere safe.  
Touch and taste  
Fades with space  
I'll never be who you dream._

The native people were buying his vid-chips and posters right and left, cheering when they saw their favorite song come up on the street screens. I'll never forget stopping in the middle of Times Square in New York City, not bothering to shield myself from the rain. It must have been a video off his second album that was released as a single, since the rest of the planned videos had to be cancelled. Keiichi Sei was clothed in a torn up military uniform, holding an assault rifle and lying in a trench. A plane flew overhead and Kei ducked, looking at the camera with scared eyes as debris fell around him.

"After all this time  
I never thought we'd be here  
Never thought we'd be here  
When my love for you was blind  
But I couldn't make you see it  
Couldn't make you see it."

His eyes flickered to the side as he sang the last line. Duo pulled his cap further down on his head as he leapt from his current trench. Dirt and branches flew in the air from ricocheting bullets as Keiichi Sei ran for the nearest foxhole. A young soldier was in the trench, reaching his hand out to Duo, but when he was only feet away, a grenade landed and blew the entire foxhole in all directions. As the guitar increased in volume, Duo's eyes widened and he began screaming for his friend, other soldiers trying to hold him back. The scene changed to Keiichi drawing his sword in a military procession as a casket was carried past, alternating with flashes of him collapsed in the middle of a deserted parking lot, the pouring rain soaking him through as he tried to sing and cry his eyes out at the same time.

"That I loved you more than you'll ever know  
A part of me died when I let you go."

Mikoshi Inc. gained so much popularity that the stocks rose high enough to support the school for over ten years. I immediately merged with Winner Enterprises and began construction on additional dormitories for the Academy. The publicity on the plight of L2 increased pressure on the courts, and W.E.I. was given the right to purchase L2 and bid for the other colonies within twelve months. I met up with Relena and spoke at the launch of the E.S.U.N. anti-poverty campaign before returning to space.

The courtyard of the academy became a tourist attraction, with hundreds of people visiting Duo's glass memorial. Poor teenagers brought roses and rich contributors pledged to begin building similar schools on Earth.

It was with a heavy heart that I returned to my apartment at the L1 Headquarters. I tried to get some sleep in my bedroom but was only tortured by hallucinations of the war and Duo. I eventually opted to pull myself out of bed and finish the updates on the warfare security system for Preventors. I checked on the updates for the next line of Mikoshi software before packing for an indefinite trip to L2 and catching a few hours of rest.

The beeping of a message received on my vid-phone brought me to the next day. Quatre called to tell me that Wufei and Sally's girls were finally being released from the hospital and that the couple said they wanted me to be there. I drove to the hospital, feeling a little guilty about never visiting the girls even when I spent weeks in the same building with Duo, although I did check up on Sally a few times.

Quatre lept into my arms the minute I reached the waiting room, Trowa smirking from the doorway. Quatre'd been a great help in my months of campaigning for Duo, using contacts to arrange interviews that I normally couldn't get as just a new entrepreneur. I clutched him tightly, noticing how much I had missed human contact all this time.

We entered the room assigned to Sally and Wufei to find them locked in a deep gaze, both holding a baby in their arms. I remember being startled by the intense look of love on my friends' faces. I recalled Quatre telling me of how Sally had lost her husband during the war, and knowing of Wufei's feelings for Treize, I wondered how in the world you can move on to someone after you've lost your true love. Triton and Quatre huddled around a cradle to the left of Sally's chair, Quatre cooing and scooping up the third girl.

"Here, Shoibi!" Quatre turned with an exuberant face, placing the child in my arms when I came near. I gasped loudly, afraid I would hurt it. Quatre arranged my arms so I was supporting her neck,

"Isn't she beautiful? Wufei and Sally have named her Li Ming (1)."

I peered down at the girl. Her jet black hair and dark eyes were just like Wufei's, but her face and skin color more closely resembled Sally's. Normally I would denounce children as liabilities, but the world is no longer at war, and I had seen how happy the Forsaken children made Duo. I wanted these girls to bring that kind of happiness to Sally and Wufei. I stood there with Li Ming for several moments. Trowa carefully reached into my arms and lifted her into the air, a huge smile on his face. I stood in bewilderment as Quatre tickled the girl's feet, and as she made little gurgling sounds, Trowa burst into laughter.

I turned around to find Wufei behind me with a girl in his arms. He did not look at the child but straight into my eyes. Quatre and Triton fell silent as Wufei sighed,

"When Sal and I found out we were having triplets, we knew that a doctor and executive agent could not afford to properly care for three children. We decided from the beginning that we would have to adopt out two of them. Quatre and Triton have signed for custody of Li Ming, and Duo had planned to adopt Xia He (2)."

I looked at Wufei. He took a deep breath, "It appears that justice heeded Duo's wish to bring you back in exchange for himself, and since you have inherited everything that was his, you also get our youngest."

I looked at Sally, who was sitting with the first child fast asleep in her arms. Wufei continued,

"We considered Milliardo and Noin on the Moon, but they are looking into starting a family of their own. Relena cannot because the heir to the throne must be the first natural born son of the King, which apparently will be Milliardo's first child, despite his renouncing of title. The boy that Relena was set to marry at birth was killed in the attack on Sanq."

_I see it around me, I see it in everything.  
I could be so much more than this._

_With one hand high, you'll show them your progress.  
You'll take your time, but no one cares.  
No one cares._

I stepped to the side so that Quatre and Trowa could see me as well, "Although I have the financial means of support, I am not capable of properly raising a child."

Quatre chimed in, his arm around his lover's waist as Trowa held Li Ming. "We contacted Duo's friend Hilde on L2, and she offered to visit often and help you with anything, as she had to raise a younger brother and sister, but does not make enough at the scrap yard to help Xia He."

Wufei stepped forward and placed the baby in my arms, "Stay here for a few months and learn the basics. Sally will still nurse, but when that is done you can take her home to L2."

We stood in the cold room, holding three precious girls, the soft music of the hospital lulling them to sleep.

_But as I love you,  
I know you will leave me.  
You cannot stay  
In such an impure place._

_God, thank you  
I got to see such a pure thing.  
God, I'm finally talking.  
Thank you, for him._

(1) Li Ming "beautiful and bright"

(2) Xia He "pure and elegant"

Wufei and Sally's child: Yu Jie "pure beautiful jade"

A/N: I apologize for the delay, I have been incredibly busy because a classmate from high school was killed in Iraq right before Thanksgiving and a group of religious fanatics decided to _protest at his funeral_. I have been putting together a petition and encouraging people to write their state representatives requesting a distance requirement to be put in place for protesting at funerals (similar to some clinics and hospitals). If either me or my brother comes home in a body bag, I don't want my parents to have to listen to people scream outside the funeral about how we deserved it because we were "defending a condemned nation."

Thank you for reading, and please give me feedback or opinions on how you think the rest of the story should go if you have any. Happy New Year. -Keiichi


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or Jimmy Eat World's "12.23.95" from Clarity.

Warning: Phase shift people, watch out.

Chapter Eight

I sat next to Duo, holding his hand. The vid-player the school children had Duo a couple of years ago played soothing music on a little table next to his bed. I kept the curtains on the glass chamber open for the occasional devoted fan that would visit, but it had been months since someone witnessed the sleeping pop-star, once loved by all. After nearly six years, the Forsaken children that knew Duo well all graduated, leaving only stories written on hallway walls. The younger L2 orphans and new L3 students circled the memorial together once a month to pay respect, but the time has come to let go.

Xia He grew into quite the personality. My mother came to L2 and took care of her as an infant, but the school pretty much adopted her once she managed to stumble through the doors. Xia He kept me rooted in the present, and when she was about two years old, I told her about Duo. I remember those big eyes tearing up as I hoisted her up to touch him.

"Daddy's sleeping? Will he wake up to see me, Papa?"

Every morning, Papa's girl would get up and spend time with Duo. One morning when Xia He was four, she ran into my room and drug me out of bed, claiming Daddy had squeezed her hand. I got frustrated and said that she was lying. I'll never forget the way she stopped and looked me straight in the eyes and said, "I will never lie, to you or to anyone." I called Sally then and she told me that Duo's movement was involuntary and something that can occasionally happen. That night I felt like dying.

The Forsaken's "Darling" grew up happily and without any conflict with me until it came time for her to decide where she would go to school. Quatre and Trowa's Li Ming was accepted to the school in Sanq for leadership development, and Wufei and Sally's Yu Jie wanted to attend the academic intensive boarding school on the newly rebuilt L5. Since the three sisters got along so well, I assumed Xia He would team up with one of them, although I think deep down I sensed what she was up to.

Seven weeks before the school year began, I found five-year-old Xia He packing a suitcase in her room.

"Darling, who invited you to visit?" I asked, hoping Quatre forgot to inform me of Li Ming's latest trip planned for the 'china dolls'.

"I'm getting ready for summer training at school." Xia He turned to me, "I'm going to the Lunar Military Academy, Papa, will you send in my application?"

I knelt in front of her and put my hands on her shoulders, "Why do you want to join the military?" No one had ever told the girls that their parents fought in the war, or that fighting was an answer to anything in anyway.

My child's eyes glossed over as she fought to not break our gaze, "I want to protect Daddy… and you." I didn't tell her that thousands of people had joined the military years ago to protect their families, and that I had killed them, her Daddy and I had killed them all.

With Xia He gone, I felt the choking loneliness again. My hallucinations slowed to once every few weeks, and I finally agreed to see an artificial intelligence psychologist that Quatre recommended. The week after Darling went to school, Trowa and Quatre invited/forced me to go on a double date with them. It was here that I met Joel, a dark-haired twenty-year-old that seemed to have a crush on me. Quatre explained that he was the rookie bodyguard that intercepted four shots from different directions aimed at Relena during an anti-poverty conference last year. He was also the young Preventor that hunted down and assassinated every member of a rebel group that sent a threatening letter to one of the chairmen of E.S.U.N. Being with the Preventors meant he heard about my work with the organization and as the founder of Mikoshi Inc, but something about the way he acted around me said that he knew who I really was.

We went on several more double dates and Joel taught me how to dance. I started thinking that maybe Trowa was right, that Duo would want me to be happy, even if it meant I had to move on to someone else. Though Joel asked to have a date alone many times, I never let myself go out unless it was in a group. I still had this inkling in the back of my mind that maybe someday Duo would wake up, that there was the slightest sliver of hope that I would get him back.

Then the day came that decided it. Iria made her quarterly visit and confirmed what we'd been holding out on for a long time, that Duo would need a liver transplant in order to survive. Everyone that was close to Duo said they didn't want him to go through with it, and I finally agreed, even though I didn't accept it.

I smoothed the bangs out of his face, too tired from all of my tears to shed any more. The others had already come and said their goodbyes, along with all of the school children. Notification of the great Keiichi Sei's death is on its way to the Earth and Colonies, and funeral cards have been sent to former Forsaken students. The undertaker is waiting in the school with the nuns, and Joel is waiting there as well, promising to hold me when I come back.

I clutch my love's hand as the nurse comes in to unhook his machines. "Goodbye, Duo. I love you, I love you…"

"Shoibi… Heero, Heero come on."

I felt Trowa shake my arm, but much more strongly, I felt as if someone had crushed my skull and left me to die.

"Good morning, sunshine." Trowa smiled, "It seems we're all back in the land of the living."

I massaged my temples, "Where's Darling?"

"Pardon me?"

"Xia He." I growled. "Do you know where Xia He is?"

"Um, Heero…" Trowa's voice sounded concerned, "The last time I checked, she was still in womb with Sally."

My eyes shot open. Trowa sat in front of me in a dimly lit room. I am laying on a reclined bed… with Duo next to me. Duo is in a set of Quatre's baby blue sweats, apparently sleeping peacefully despite looking exhausted and beat up. My heart sped up and I started to panic.

"Trowa, I need to make sure my daughter is safe. When did Duo get transported here?"

Triton's eyebrows knitted as he looked at me. "Sho, we're still in the hospital after taking Duo from the studio. We were watching over him when he went into another seizure and knocked you out cold. You've slept for six hours and Duo's been awake for about two."

All of his words left me except for the last sentence. I turned my head and saw Duo's face only a few inches from mine, his eyes open and peering at me.

_I didn't mean to leave you hanging on  
I didn't mean to leave you all alone._

In complete disbelief, I pulled him into a kiss and felt him kiss me back, he was actually there! I knew that for some reason there were tears pouring down my face, but I didn't take notice as I clutched him closer to me, feeling him, feeling my Duo.

Trowa chuckled as he left the room. "I guess that's my cue to go find Quatre."

Duo and I kissed as the sun slowly went down on the day I thought I'd never see. As the darkness became complete, we fell asleep in each other's embrace, happy.

A/N: I'm sorry to those that have been confused by previous chapters, I am taking your advice and editing things so they're more clear. What do you think of this chapter? Please let me know, I hope you enjoy my this. –Keiichi Sei


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing

Author's Note: Duo is not dead, and for the record never was dead, only in a coma. Also (sorry for the confusion), when Heero, Quatre and Trowa rescued Duo from the movie set and brought him to the colonies in a state of shock, Duo went through a series of seizures and involuntarily knocked Heero out. What happens after Duo's seizures until Trowa wakes up Heero in the previous chapter is all a hallucination on Heero's part. His dreams were meant to represent the last of his psychological/chemical additive difficulty and to give him a view of what his life could have been like if he hadn't been able to save Duo. This is the final chapter.

Chapter Nine

I awoke at 2 a.m. After sleeping most of the day before, I felt content to hold Duo as he slept. I felt him move slightly at about 6, his eyes looking blurrily up at me.

"You're not sleeping?"

I brushed a strand of hair out of his face, "I'm not really tired anymore."

Duo shifted on the bed so he could see me better. He spoke in barely a whisper, "Trowa told me you've raised enough funds to support the school."

I glared at him, "You called me to save you, so I did."

Duo chuckled, "In the war, we just busted each other out of prison. In normal life, we must save each other in the most peculiar ways."

I lifted my hand and cupped Duo's face. In my heart I had never felt so exposed, begging the only person who could take my happiness away to show mercy. "Duo, come away with me."

His eyes lowered to the bed. Haven't I eliminated all doubt in his mind? I'm back from supposedly dying in the last war, Relena is executing a world-wide plan to bring opportunities of education and prosperity to everyone, no orphan in this civilization is left unaccounted for… From the look on his face, I could tell that Duo had already stepped away from all of this, that in the short time he'd been awake, he had already moved on. His eyes blinked slowly from exhaustion.

"I miss Solo."

I thought back to everything I had learned about Duo. Wasn't the year Solo died at the same time I lost Odin Lowe? We were both stripped of our protectors, of the only semblance of family or friendship we had, in order to find each other and create that security again for ourselves.

I looked at Duo, "Solo has a grave marker at the church, right next to mine. Let's go visit it."

Duo looked up at me with tears in his eyes. After a moment of thought he spoke, "If I have my days straight, the anniversary for the Tragedy is coming up. Will you come to the ceremony with me, Heero?"

I grabbed both of his hands and kissed them, hurriedly trying to put my anguish into words. "Duo, I will go with you because I want live my life with you. Promise me you will never again let anything get between me staying with you. Let me save you, let me protect you-"

"I love you tomodachi." Duo's words were so rushed I almost didn't catch them. I didn't think Duo remembered anything from my native tongue. He had learned it during the war so he could talk to me more privately. He squeezed my hands in emphasis. "Ai shiteru," we both said in unison as Duo wrapped an arm around my neck and pulled me in to kiss him strongly.

"Well, these will come in handy after all!" Duo and I jumped in surprise and looked to the doorway to find Quatre holding two small cases. Quatre approached us and handed over the small boxes.

"When the second war ended, Wufei and I took a trip to Earth and bought engagement bands. I bought a matching gold set to remind me of what I felt for Trowa. Wufei bought rings for he and Treize, and I watched as he threw Treize's in the ocean. While we were there, I bought this set for Duo, thinking that he might want to do something similar to remember you, Heero."

We looked down and saw two small black cases, each with a silver band inside. Duo took them out and placed one on my ring finger and one on his, laughing at how our fingers were the same size. Quatre pulled us into a group hug and Trowa appeared a moment later to join us.

This concludes my account of experiences after the war for the L1 school system. In the year since these events and subsequent engagements transpired, a conflict has been brewing and threatening to break the peace. My fiancé and I, along with our closest friends, are once again preparing to enter a war. I cannot say whether this time my Duo will be taken from me or if I will lose my own life, but I can hope that the fighting will end by the time you schoolchildren are old enough to join the military. If you learn anything from me, let it be this: Follow your emotions, and never give in. This is Heero Yuy, signing off.

THE END

A/N: Well, that's it. I hope you got something out of this story. Tell me anything that comes to mind with this piece, so maybe I can more accurately convey to others the revolution that has occurred in my mind. I am grateful to Heero, whose character I used to speak of my own heart; to Jimmy Eat World, whose music was my muse in writing this; and to my reviewers, who made this all seem worthwhile. Thank you.


End file.
